Mark: 60/100
Feedback:
1. Grammar Mistakes:
- The phrase "Seldom, he had ever seen" is awkward. "Seldom" is used incorrectly and can cause confusion. It might be better to use "He had seldom seen" instead.
2. Quality of Expressions:
- The expression "such a sublime thing that Mother Earth had produced" is somewhat convoluted. While "sublime" is a good choice of word, the phrase could be simplified for clarity.
3. Text Structure:
- The current structure consists of only one sentence. It's important to have a more developed structure to express ideas clearly. You may consider adding more sentences to elaborate on what you are describing.
4. Cohesion:
- There is a lack of cohesion because the sentence does not connect to a broader context. It would benefit from additional sentences that explain what "such a sublime thing" is or how it made the speaker feel.
5. Techniques:
- Consider using figurative language, such as metaphors or similes, to enhance your writing. This can create stronger imagery and emotions.
6. Theme:
- The theme of appreciating nature is present but needs more depth. You could expand on why this experience was significant or how it impacted the speaker.
[] | Date: 17-Sep-2024 Mark: 60/100
Seldom, he had ever seen such a sublime thing that Mother Earth had produced.
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